Anger is evidenced in two ways: inward forms a crater, hardness to protect, yet shuts down. Outward forms a flowing form, partly to keep it away from self and keep others from self.
Ephesians 4:31 builds a picture of a potted plant – in the plant is the soil (combined in your case) – soil that reflects family of origin, experiences, hurts, attitudes, earlier in life.
If hurt punctures a place in that foundation of growth, bitterness develops. This word “pikria”, means “to make bitter”, and when referring to the stomach, it is something swallowed. To swallow inflicted pain is to live with a sword swallower.
Then it defiles, poisons the person (Hebrews 12:15), because it is missing the grace and focusing on the pain inflicted. It says one lacks grace – that word “lack” is “hustereo”, “to come short, be behind, come late, lack, be depleted of grace. Why? There’s a hole that is emptying the grace poured in.
It leads to indignation, which is the Greek word “thumos”, meaning “anger, wrath, rage”. It sounds like one is “thumbing the nose at others” – beginning to disregard others. It comes from the same Greek word for passion, longing, passionate, which means a bitter root that springs up into passionate, longing hearts, punctures them in a vulnerable spot.
Then it adds the word wrath, which is “hopga”, meaning, “to make angry, become angry”. Now it becomes a part of the individual. It’s becoming who you are.
Right behind that is clamor, which is the Greek word “kraugay”, meaning, “shouting, quarreling”. That bud of anger pokes out and begins to lash out.
Then it brings evil speaking, which is the Greek word “blaspheima”, meaning “slander, defamation, blasphemy, abusive speech.”
Intersperses this: Let it be removed. It is the Greek word “arthonto” from “airo” (pronounced ah-ee-ro). It means “to take up, lift, rise; remove faults”. We see in here the raising through resurrection, where sin has been destroyed and its hold gone. The power of God is there to lift it off of us and bring “air” to that area, so it can breathe with the breath of God.
Culminates it “with all malice”, which is the Greek word “kakia”, which is “a special kind of moral inferiority, with other deficiencies – malice, ill-will, malignity.” demeaning.
The answer is to be kind, tender hearted, forgiving one another – which is not a one time or twenty time event, but a continual attitude – decision.