Turn any shame into names. Names – words that have inflicted harm to you. List them and then go to the Scripture and find verses that fight those bad labels. God wants you to see yourself as you He sees you – with love and tenderness, forgiveness and mercy. Particularly write down any phrases used against you in your past. Is that how God sees you?
Don’t worry if you don’t see yourself differently immediately. Your victory will come as you see yourself through God’s eyes, not others and not even your own.
Keep this visual in mind: Don’t get into a “car” with anyone trying to control you. In other words, they do the driving and you go along for the ride (only it’s not a good ride). You can say no to them by always saying yes to Jesus and freedom.
Forgive by name those who have hurt you in the past – and leave it in the past. It won’t help you in your future.
You opened up and guess what I saw inside: honesty, hurt and blaming yourself. We all have some blame for things in our lives, but not all of it is ours to own. Extra thought: Put these in three categories, much like separating your clothes for laundering:
a. One group is for those things we chose to do – let the blood of Christ cleanse them.
b. One group is for the things done to us – hurts, betrayal, etc. Those things shouldn’t be mixed in with our responsibility, or the lines get blurred and we begin to blame ourselves for everything.
c. One group is for those things God has forgiven and restored – they would be the whites, because we are washed in the blood of the Lamb.
You can be angry and sin not, so remember that some anger is healthy – as long as it doesn’t explode or implode on you.
You need to identify the source of the anger and realize that you can be mad about the way you’ve been treated.
End each day with how God ended His creative work: It is good. Don’t include yesterday or tomorrow. Today God has been faithful and again, He’s loved you from before our beginning. Today was good. God is good. He’s doing a great work in you.